Thoroughly Modern Millie
This week has been a tough one, and it is only Monday. Yesterday evening I was feeling like Thoroughly Modern Millie, although I don't know how far to develop the analogy. (She is ultimately a gold digger whose purpose is to marry wealthy.)

The day started with an early rising so that I could be on the express J-m to Haifa bus, in motion by 8:00 am. I boarded the bus without too many elbows jabbing my sides, and despite all of the soldiers engaged in their Sunday morning travel, only three passengers had to endure the 2 hour ride without a seat. The passenger to my right, with an aisle between us, was the son of the pizza place owner across the street :) Pleasant surprise and Evidence A that Jerusalem is really a village and not a city.

We chatted a bit, the woman next to me offered me gum and I declined; I explained that I fully intended to fall asleep within minutes. At which point I did and did not wake up until the bus pulled into the Haifa bus station two hours later, completely on schedule. Evidence B that having a car is overrated.

After killing some time in the bus station, I successfully managed to board the correct local bus and traveled for 40 minutes to my destination within Haifa. Evidence C that a bus driver cannot accurately estimate the travel time to one's destination, as he said it would be 20 minutes and there was no significant traffic.

I reached my destination, an employment training and support center for adults with Asperger Syndrome. I am the lead investigator of a research study evaluating the program in its three locations: Tel Aviv, J-m, and Haifa. To hear more about the program and my research study-- contact me offline.

All went well at the center, and then it was time to get home.

I walk back to the bus stop, board the bus, go to the back where there is an open seat and ride the remainder of the bus route, 30 min, with my bag on my lap, save for one brief moment that proved to be the error of my ways. I arrived at the central bus station, and went to open the pockets of my backpack for inspection by security. However, the pocket that houses my wallet was already open and there was no wallet inside. Egads! Did my wallet fall out? How would it fall if I zipped the pocket closed?

RECONSTRUCTION OF EVENTS: I found my seat, put my change and bus receipt in my wallet, and the sole passenger behind me was obviously observing the placement of my wallet. When the woman on my right needed to get out to alight, I stepped out of my seat to give her room. I suppose I did feel my bag jerk, but I adjusted it on my shoulder not suspecting that someone was retrieving my wallet for me. After she stepped away, I sat down again, bringing the bag back to my lap suspecting nothing.

Amusingly, during the ride I was noticing the scenery thinking that I don't get out of J-m enough and should visit more parts of Israel.

BACK TO SEQUENCE OF EVENTS: I walked to the bus depot looking for my bus. Perhaps my wallet was still there. I could not find my bus, and the security guard told me how to find the bus company's office upstairs. The man at reception called the driver for me, who did not come acrss my wallet. Are we surprised?

I just started crying. I had a round trip bus ticket, ~500 NIS of cash, my credit card, and assorted other items. My first concern: How would I get home? Without a bus ticket, cash, or any way to get cash, I was out of ideas. Had this happened in J-m I would walk home, call a friend who would spot me cash, etc. What would I do in a strange city in the bus station at the edge of town nowhere near where my meeting took place, esp when all of those staff people have already gone home?

One staff person suggested that he escort me to the J-m bus and talk to the driver. I had already pre-paid for my return trip, after all. Another staffer was convinced that it would not work. He opened his wallet, pulled out two 50 NIS bills, and wrote his name and worker ID number for me. He explained that once I had access to my money, I should go to the J-m Bus Station and return the money through the driver of the J-m Haifa express bus. A generous man, indeed.

The staffer who loaned me money then became concerned that I had not yet canceled my credit card. He walked me to the office space, called information off of his cell phone, and helped me place the call to my credit card company to cancel the card.

There were no charges on the card since I withdrew cash on Friday, which didn't really surprise me. The card had been stolen for less than one hour.

MORAL OF THE STORY: Don't travel to Haifa. Just like Millie, I left my small town to visit the big city. Millie was mugged, albeit nonviolently. Nonetheless, they took her hat, shoes, and purse. ("Who needs a hat? Who needs purse? Who needs you, whoever you are?") My wallet was merely pickpocketed, without any direct contact. My ID, cell phone, MP3 player and other objects of value were not stolen. I wasn't wearing a hat and nor did I have a purse.

However, unlike Mille who is committed to being a "pioneer woman" and making it in NYC, I'll stick with my provincial, insular lifestyle in the village that is J-m.

Two other rays of light: I removed the paycheck issued by the Barkat campaign from my wallet prior to my journey to the big city, so it is still in my sock drawer. Phew. I made a friend on the bus ride back who lives around the corner from me. Yeah, neighbors.

EPILOGUE: I've been told that I've been spared much grief by not having my National ID card stolen. Filing a police report is now optional and I don't have to use vacation time to spend the morning at the Ministry of Interior, a sure combination to make anyone significantly more bitter and hostile. However, having lost a wad of cash, my J-m bus pass, the bus receipts I needed in order to apply for travel reimbursement from my employer, and the fees associated with replacing stolen cards, I'm chalking it up to an 800 NIS loss. Losing a wallet can get really expensive.