From Nation's Capital to Nation's Capital: The Azza Street Spy

Executive Decision Making by the Condo Board President--

--who happens to be me, for those who have not yet heard.

As the Queen and Dictator of my residential apartment building (rosh va'ad ha-bayit), I have many responsibilities. They include collecting monthly payments from all residents, depositing them in person at Bank Non-Discount, paying the stair cleaners, paying the gardener, ordering the oil for the communal heat in the winter, buying the building's annual insurance policy, among other things. As the person in charge, additional odds and ends fall in my lap. One day, I will write the expanded version of how I ascended to power and a fuller description of my responsibilities.

However, this week there was a slightly unusual one, which we are hoping will never recur:

I walked out of my apartment building yesterday morning hurrying to the bus, hoping that I hadn't missed it. At the entrance to the building, I notice there is fresh animal excrement. Given its amorphous shape and size, I identify it as cat vomit.

Whose job is it to take care of this?

While I am the proud president of the condo association, I coordinate, organize, and handle sums of money. I am no more responsible to clean up this putrid, although contained, mess than any other resident of the building. While dashing to the bus, I promptly forgot about the morning present.

Around mid-day, my sister who was staying at my place called to report the present to me. She called me in the late afternoon to tell me that it was still there and starting to smell horrible. Clearly, no concerned resident saw it and was inspired to take care of it.

My executive decision?

I called the building's stair cleaners. They are an elderly, immigrant couple from Eastern Europe who live nowhere near J-m, the wife speaks no Hebrew, and they strike me as destitute. (I did not find them; they were cleaning the stairs before I assumed my esteemed position.) I first verified if either would be in J-m the next day. The wife expected to be. I explained the situation to the husband and said that I would pay 50 NIS (~$14.41) in exchange for the one-time cleaning job. They accepted. The husband also called me this morning asking that I leave bleach for his wife to use. I told him that I since laid newspaper over the mess to prevent excess smelling and flies.

Thoughts?

Well, I certainly did not want to take care of it. The job is probably about 10 min, max 15. But, it is so disgusting. And, I don't feel more ownership or responsibility than any other resident. Besides, as of this morning no resident adjusted the carefully placed newspaper. Either, they walked past it not caring or knew what was underneath and chose to leave it there. Certainly, if I were a homeowner, I would suck it up and just clean it. But, as President, Queen, etc. I have a discretionary budget and this seemed like a worthy cause. Certainly the cleaners are pleased. They get paid 300NIS/month for cleaning the stairs. In contrast to a weekly payment of 75 NIS for all public spaces in and around the building, they are getting 50 NIS for a 10 min job.

Additional thoughts?

What if they had said no? What if they would not be in J-m til Thurs.? Does that make the clean up my responsibility due to my role? Can I pay myself the 50 NIS?

Thoughts and replies welcome.

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