From Nation's Capital to Nation's Capital: The Azza Street Spy

Yosef and His Entourage
We are easily at some of the most moving parashiyot, weekly Torah readings. Last week at shabbat minhah, I started tearing when reading Yehudah's pitch to Yosef to release Binyamin. And, the morning reading of Miketz was also pretty powerful.

When sitting in shul listening to the reading of Miketz, I felt instantly connected to the story as a contemporary meaning occurred to me.  Since I am sitting at work, shhh, I am reconstructing the dialogue w.o access to the verses.

Biblical Version

Scene: Ten brothers, sons of Yaakov, travel from Cana'an to Egypt to buy food b.c the regional famine is really harsh. They go to buy their bread and food and Yosef identifies them as his brothers.

Yosef: You guys are a bunch of spies. Get out of here.

Brothers: No, your lordship. We are a large family from Cana'an trying to buy food as the famine is really harsh. We are 10 brothers, one is at home with our father and another is no longer among us.

Y: No you're not. You're a bunch of spies.

B: Please, your highness. We only have innocent intentions of buying food.

Y: You are really spies. The only way you can prove that you are not spies is if you bring the youngest brother to me. Otherwise, don't ever return here.

(Question: Why would bringing B prove that they are not spies? They could bring a random person who is not B to pose as their brother. They could also bring B and still be spies. How is this an effective proof?)

Point: Yosef makes a very harsh request of them. This is evidenced by the length of time they spend wasting away feeling hungry in Cana'an until Ya'akov relents and lets them return to Egypt, this time with their youngest brother.

Contemporary Version

Scene: Well-credentialed and competent psychologists from North America make aliyah.

Board of Psychologists: You are a bunch of fraudulent quacks. You are not recognized here and cannot practice as legitimate psychologists in this land.

North American Psychologists: Please, kind clerks and bureaucrats, we have only innocent and noble intentions of living among the Jewish people and contributing our skills and resources. We can prove our cases with valid documentation.

BOP: No, you are lying. You're just a bunch of fraudulent quacks. You will have to submit yourselves to a series of unreasonable demands and obstacles, after which we might decide that you are real psychologists.

Comparison

How must it have felt for the brothers to make a long journey, with only good intentions, and be accused of being spies? It really sounds kind of communist. And, they have no way to defend themselves. The judge is the jury and he is the one who sets the standards for evidence. And then I realized that some contemporary situations are not so different.

I had to fight with the BOP losers so that in the end all they could tell me was that my PhD in School Psychology was equivalent to an Israeli masters in Organizational Psychology?? Meaning, only my theoretical course work was relevant, no field hours or work experience counted, and my studies are considered "out of area" b/c I learned the material in a geographically different area.  And I didn't throw anyone down a well leaving them for dead, or sell them into slavery. I just went to grad school for a really long time and worked really hard.

Normally I don't pay any mind to these bozos. They are one of the factors that drove me away from practice-based psychology: These boards and committees are xenophobic, hazing organizations. But, they were on my mind last week b.c I had two encounters with them during the week of Parashat Miketz. How ironic.

1) I got a phone call from a member of the Specializing Committee telling me that my file is missing a few forms. They are the most elusive, unavailable group. They never contacted me once while I worked for the school system, despite my many attempts. There is no phone that they answer, and all messages from them to me went through an office supervisor.

Since I had a human on the phone, I told her that it was a little ridiculous that I am appealing their decision requiring me to take a completer course in Developmental Psychology when I used to teach that course to Undergrads. And, that my five plus years of field experience are instantly disregarded b.c they weren't in Israel. And, that since my degree is from abroad it is considered to be in a different specialty area.

Lady Jerk: People who don't study School Psychology need retraining.

Me: I can understand that. But, I have a PhD in School Psychology, so why do I need retraining? Why am I equated to the masters level graduates who studied experimental psychology?

Lady Jerk: Well, to my great regret, Israeli schools are not the same as the ones abroad. Working in these schools is different.

Me: It's true that the schools here are not the same as the ones abroad. But, isn't this policy a bit excessive and totally disproportionate to the concern it is trying to address (i.e., narcissistic? xenophobic? meglomanic?)?

LJ: I am a volunteer who is making sure that your file is complete. I don't make those kinds of decisions.

The secret to any great bureaucracy is that the consumer can never talk to anyone with decision-making authority. The secret to an amazing bureaucracy is that there is no one with decision-making authority. Instead, it's a bunch of volunteers crossing t's and dotting i's, keeping the wheel in motion, but going nowhere. She told me that if my break from practicing psychology lasts more than five years, my status returns to that of a masters level graduate in organizational psychology.

2) I was talking to a buddy who made aliyah a year after me and worked in my district office.  She has a PhD in psychology, years of field experience and a masters in speech therapy. In the US she is gold. Here, just a quack. She told me that she is taking an "indefinite break" from her aliyah. She has been unable to break the resolve of the Yosef proteges and she's tired of fighting and being illegitimate.

It always breaks my heart when a friend decides to leave Israel. It is infuriating that these Killers of Zionist Dreams killed her Zionist dream.  It makes the confrontation b.w Yosef and brothers sounds so much more familiar. You are accused of being a quack, told that it is illegal to maintain your job, and you should appeal to the district court.

Question: Do the government management training courses study Parashat Miketz intensively? Are they intentionally trying to replicate Yosef's style?

Of course Yosef is the only (or one of the only? can someone correct me on this?) characters in Tanakh to be explicitly called "righteous." While these clowns are taking some of his career seriously, they should adjust their aspirations so that they are simply considered to be neutral or not harmful.

Shabbat shalom.

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